I will be back

At one point. When I get a new computer I will be back. maybe...

BSG

Last night's ep. was the SHIT. That's all.

Emotional Nightmares

So I woke up just recently out of a very intense dream. The details of the dream aren't too important but it did seem illuminate some emotional issues.

I'm not sure if this is true for all people but it seems that whatever emotion I don't seem to be getting or giving enough of in my waking life bubbles up in an intense dream a few times a year.

Usually for me those dreams often involve an intense love affair. I call those emotional nightmares not because of the dream, it's actually waking up alone and realizing it was all a dream that's the nightmare. These dreams only come up once in a while as if your brain needs to process the emotions every so often to make sure you still have the ability to feel.

Ambulance

Anyone who knows me is fully aware of my obsession with TV on the Radio. I just wanted to point out the lyrics to one of my favorite songs of all time.

your slim frame
your eager eyes
and your wild mane
oh they keep me where i belong
all wrapped up in wrong

you're to blame
for wasted words of sad refrain
oh let them take me where they may
believe me when i say

oh i will be your accident
if you will be my ambulance
i will be your screech and crash if you will be my crutch and cast
i will be your one more time if you will be my one last chance
so fall for me

your slime frame
your simple stare
and your wrong wrong name
they keep me where i belong
all strung out in song

while i so tamed
where we can shoot other vines through your good name
sip sweet from nights deep wells
and watch are garden swim as our seeds are soaked
while overgrown
you will see
hearts colors change like leaves

oh sweet sweet dream fall for me
fall fast fall free fall for me
because
oh i will be your ambulance
if you will be my accident
i will be your screech and crash if you will be my crutch and cast
and i will be your one more time if you will be my one last chance
so sweet dream fall with me
fall fast fall free fall with me

I just heard this song completely randomly on Pandora and it got me thinking about the weekend I just had. I just finished taking a weekend long meditation seminar. I learned a few meditation techniques and had a generally great time.

One of the over arching themes of the weekend was looking inward. Finding answers to your problems inward and working them out for yourself. This is undoubtedly true as one can't possibly hope that another person will solve problems that one isn't willing to work on alone.

But there was something about the lyric
"I will be your screech and crash if you will be my crutch and crash"

This line makes perfect sense. Yes we have to work on our own shit alone but damn life is too fucking hard and sometimes a little help is needed.

Sometimes an Ambulance is needed.

Gum

Chewing gum is pleasant. Until your jaw starts hurting. I often wonder if my jaw will get into better shape, like a muscle. I'm waiting for that to happen but often I just have a sore jaw.

Music

Not sure why but have been listening to a lot of ephemeral music lately. A lot of Bleepidy bloppidy stuff. I just don't want to her the bombastic music I usually do not sure why but it makes me feel relaxed something I need nowadays. Thank god for Sigur Ros.

On writing

One of the main reasons for this current blog existing is to get me writing. So this little post is a quick update on my current thoughts about writing.

I have just recently started writing a new short. I'm not sure if it'll be any good yet as I have only written about 3 pages but just getting the creative juices flowing is a step for me.

So I guess I'll tell you my current process. I usually sit down and free write for at least ten straight minutes. I don't really try to think too hard about structure or anything it's just to get words on paper.

After that it's a free for all that I'm still working out mostly for shorts I try to just go ahead and bang out as much as I can in one sitting. Features are a bit different if I ever fucking finish one.